I'm told that it should be safe to venture into Brisbane as it will be flamingo free zone as from tomorrow, so I'll be going there for the weekend. Which is why FNP is early this week.
Do
not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should
be. Now put the foundations under them.
Henry
David Thoreau
Dag Hammarskjöld died in a plane crash in 1961 while serving
as Secretary General of the United Nations. After his death, a little book entitled
“Markings” was published. It contains jottings of his spiritual insights
throughout this life. What follows is my markings. They are not so much spiritual,
as practical markings that I have stumbled upon, and subsequently followed
throughout my life. They are not the markings of one who received a university
education, but those of a tradesman, written in the language of a tradesman.
For that is what I am, a tradesman, although I use the term to define my
background rather than with any class connotations, I’m not sure what does
define me. I’m just me. That's enough.
I sometimes wish that I had received an education in philosophy, political science, and science, but I didn’t, and I do not waste time on regrets. It has been my experience that life is a series of swings and roundabouts. What sometimes appears to have been a disadvantage in life may just have led to an unappreciated advantage. Not all wisdom is to be had by the academics. And skill in using one’s hands leads to a different kind of wisdom. After all, without those who possess those skills, the philosophers would starve.
We have no choice when we come into this world. We are subject to our genetic inheritance and our environmental nurturing….or lack of. So, we are guided by our parents, or guardian, as to what they think is a desirable life. We are taught the basic survival skills and spiritual needs according to our parents’ beliefs. And this serves to get us by during childhood and early adolescence. But then it all goes pear shaped as we find all our childhood fantasies crumbling under the onslaught of a cold, hard, reality we never knew was there. Then, if we are to survive, we need to at last think for ourselves. Or in the vernacular, we need to “get a life’. Virginia Marie Swift (copyright 2001) puts it far more eloquently than I ever could with her insightful words:
The Awakening
“A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.”
So, having finally awoken, we'd better start looking at that world through new eyes.
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau
“To die, and to discover that I had not lived”. What do we mean by “lived”? For the answer to that, I think we have to turn to Maslow’s needs heirarchy.
I see the base needs as those necessary to “exist”, and there’s quite enough there to occupy us for most of our lives. But to “live” we need to look to the higher needs. And some are driven to a higher need still, that of “self actualisation”. That is when we feel that we are doing what we were meant to do in this life. I think we all know when we reach this plane. Or rather “feel” it. It is when we are totally absorbed in what we are doing, to the exclusion of cares regarding satisfying the lower needs. But before we look toward the “why” of this life, we need to acquire knowledge of the ”how”. And for this, my palm goes to Max Erhmann’s lovely “Desiderata”. His words show us how to live this life in harmony with one another, and with the universe. They follow:
Go placidly amid the noise
and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive
persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as
well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your
business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of
the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome
discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is
clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
by Max Ehrmann
©1927 (renewed) Bell & Son Publishing, LLC
Reprinted with permission.
Just beautiful, isn’t it. ‘Til next week.